It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
