11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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