Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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