Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
