something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
