The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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