My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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