remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
