Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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