dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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