I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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