His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
