C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
