You insisted on take shots off of plates.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
