is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
