look no pants
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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