It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Randomize
