woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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