Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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