Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize