Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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