he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Randomize
