P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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