So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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