He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
