i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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