is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
