Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
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until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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