OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
