I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize