WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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