do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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