Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
PANTIES FOUND
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