it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
