YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
