YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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