sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
