Me. At least after what I've been through.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize