That reminds me...we need to get swords
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
