thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
