Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
