so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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