Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
