I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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