Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
