I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
