no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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