1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
