Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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