Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
