I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
