I wish you could order shots online.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
