hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
