MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
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He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
What drink are we having for lunch?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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