Just fell off a train. Bad.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize