if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
